This is an art. A skill. A life-long experience that may never be mastered. To not be offended by what someone does or says is difficult to do, however, not impossible. To not take something personal is hard, but if you can accomplish this, you will likely be a happier person.

A couple years ago, a friend of mine sent me an email with an important message entitled “The Art of Not Being Offended.” It amazes me how often I go through my old mail and read these words of wisdom. We have to remember that people may go through life with a smile, but on the inside they may be crying. Some people project their own life onto us and we in turn believe we are the bad guy. But we’re not. We must remember this. If we learn to not take what people do or say personally, then we will have overcome a great life challenge. So practice this little life lesson and hopefully you will be able to find happiness with the actions and words of others. And with that I will leave you with a little blurb from the email:

“All of that said, almost nothing is personal. Even with our closest loved ones, our beloved partners, our children and our friends. We are all swimming in the projections and filters of each other’s life experiences and often we are just the stand-ins, the chess pieces of life to which our loved ones have their own built-in reactions. This is not to dehumanize life or take away the intimacy from our relationships, but mainly for us to know that almost every time we get offended, we are actually just in a misunderstanding. A true embodiment of this idea actually allows for more intimacy and less suffering throughout all of our relationships. When we know that we are just the one who happens to be standing in the right place at the right psychodynamic time for someone to say or do what they are doing—we don’t have to take life personally. If it weren’t us, it would likely be someone else.” - Dr. Jodi Prinzivalli

Happy Leap Day! Take a leap today and do something you’ve never done before. Why? Well, today is leap day, duh! Haven’t you ever wanted to something crazy, but never had the guts?

Maybe it’s because of fear or maybe it’s because you’re worried about what others will think of you. Either way, doing something that scares you just a little bit is actually a good thing. It pushes you out of your comfort zone and gives you strength to keep going through life. You may want to go skydiving one day or dye your hair blue. I say, do it! You only live once and by taking that leap you are proving not only to your self, but also to others that you are indeed fearless and have courage in yourself.

So whether or not, you take that leap today, make sure you do it soon!

We all know how hard it is to break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend, but what about when you and your friend don’t see eye to eye anymore? Sometimes it may be better to call it quits. I read an article in The New York Times over the weekend about this subject and it got me thinking about friendship and how important your connections are with others.

We make friends when we start school, when we join a sports team, when we take dance classes and the list goes on. But as we grow older, our beliefs and values may change and so do those of our friends. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but more of a fact of life. As we grow older, we may grow apart (both physically and emotionally) from our friends and it becomes difficult to maintain those relationships.

But what do we do when we need to end a friendship? Do we handle it like a break up? Facebook makes it so easy to “defriend” people with just the click of a mouse, but the real world is a different story. If you really feel like someone is creating negative or toxic energy in your life, think about whether you want to cut this person off completely or just have minimal interaction. It might be easiest to start slow by ignoring text messages, phone calls and avoiding deep conversations. As immoral as it may be, you can stray away from the truth and say you are busy or your family really needs you helping out. It’s difficult knowing that someone’s feelings will be hurt, so try to make the situation as painless as possible.

If being passive does not work, do as you would with a boyfriend or girlfriend – talk to your friend in person. This may be upsetting, but your happiness is the most important. Don’t let someone else bring you down. And remember, you will always have someone else to turn to for support.

It’s been a whole year since you told yourself what habit you wanted to quit, how many pounds you wanted to lose or what you were going to do differently for the next 365 days. Were you successful? Maybe you were or maybe you weren’t. Either way, you made it to 2012 and you now have a fresh slate. Let’s talk about New Year’s resolutions and how you can keep them.

Remember, it’s not a wish. It’s a commitment that someone makes to him or her self for an entire year. If you’re the type of person that has difficulties attaining goals, start out small. Don’t tell yourself you’re going to get straight A’s because if you let yourself down, it’s hard to get back up again. Instead, tell yourself you’re going to try really hard in school and if you get at least one A, you’ll be happy with the job you did. It’s important to strive to be the best you can be, but remember, there’s no such thing as perfection.

If your resolution is to lose weight, don’t have a number in mind. Just start eating healthy, exercising at least 3 days a week and you’ll be surprised with the results. Don’t make resolutions that you know you won’t be able to stick to. Be realistic because it’s a new year and a new you!

Do you think your body odor is terrible, but no one else does then take a look at this question by Shawn!

http://wp.me/P1Y6pB-N

When you’re feeling sad, sometimes you can feel tired also. If you have a similar issue, take a look at a new question from Anna.

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On last night’s episode of Glee, there were a lot of teenage topics touched on that I think deserve a shout out here on Teen and Heard. Here’s a note on one in particular.

Be 100% Ready, not 99%

On Glee, a very sensitive issue was brought to the viewers’ attention – knowing when you’re ready. Both Rachel and Finn and Kurt and Blaine had to listen to their instincts about the right moment to be intimate. For Rachel, she thought it would help her be a better actress in the school play, West Side Story. For Blaine, he let his inhibitions get the better of him after having a bit much to drink and got upset when Kurt didn’t agree. Let’s face it, a lot of people in high school decide that they are ready to get to the “good stuff” with their boyfriend or girlfriend. I’m sure some of you are one of those people. But don’t worry, you are not alone. A lot of teens are going through a lot of changes – physically, emotionally, and mentally. So wanting to have that special moment is normal. Take it from someone who’s been there and done that, it’s important to wait until you are 100% certain you are 100% ready. Listen to your instincts, they are usually right. If you do think you are 100% ready and your partner is “the one” you want to remember forever, please please please use a little thing called protection. The world is already over populated. While Glee takes place in TV land, the message of the show does hold some truth. While the adults in your life would much rather you stick to abstinence, it’s hard not to “experiment” when there is so much pressure from peers, the media, and plain old hormones. So make sure you know when you’re ready. Pretty please.

Straight from New Jersey, comes Curly Sue who has concerns about her unruly locks. To find out more about how to tame your hair, click on the beauty and style tab!

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